Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
