It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
