i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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