forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
