Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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