did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize