Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
