he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
