you have to choose: penises or morals?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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