Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
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