so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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