I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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