Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
