I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
