did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
