Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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