I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
