I feel like abortions should bother me more
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
