She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize