Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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