Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
