I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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