We won't sleep together?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
