There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
