Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i love accidental penises.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
COCAINE IS GR8
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
