He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
