He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
