How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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