Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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