would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize