Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
