No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
