I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
