I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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