Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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