Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
