it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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