you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
