so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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