as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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