So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
