Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
