We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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