did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
