im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize