Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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