Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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