Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
