I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
false alarm, still single
Randomize
