There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
