Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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