Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
