we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
