try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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