My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just forgot I was standing up.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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