I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
it's like heaven, but drunker
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize