she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
