If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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