i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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